Brave Enough…

“Start over, my darling. Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it. Then start over and love yourself the way you were always meant to.” – Madalyn Beck

This right here…

I honestly thought I knew it all when I was in my twenties. But the honest truth was that I was just existing, I wasn’t living. I had no direction in life. I didn’t believe I was smart enough or capable enough to go to college. So I worked in the service industry for years because it was comfortable. It eventually wore me down. After I quit the restaurants and bars, I managed to land a desk job for five years…but I stopped being happy after two.

Becoming a Mom gave me direction. For the first time in my life, I had purpose. I understood why I was here. Why I survived everything I went through, everything I did. It was all leading me to my purpose.

My husband and I decided that I could be a Stay At Home Mom when we started our family, but once our kids were in school I would have to get a job. Every day watching my belly grow, feeling my son wiggling around, I reflected on my life. Do I really want to go back to work? I definitely don’t want to work as a bartender anymore. My family and I would rarely have weekends together. I could go back to a desk job. The typical 9 to 5 wouldn’t be so bad, right? But I don’t want to sacrifice pick up from school, snack time, homework, and cook dinner for my crew.

I sat with this for weeks, until I started to ask myself some honest questions. What am I good at? What am I passionate about? Can I be my own boss and create the schedule I want? Where is this going? All arrows pointed to my original passion, and that was writing. Maybe…just maybe, I could be a blogger. So…what should I blog about?

Every day I hit the gym working towards my personal goals. In the midst of getting stronger and more confident, it all became clear. I decided to step forward and share my journey of Healing. It originally started as the “I need to loose the weight I gained from my pregnancy.” But it was so much more than that. I wanted to share my whole journey. The good, the bad, the flawed, and the bliss. Being brave enough to share my story is both exciting and scary as Hell. Loving myself through all of it, has been the reward. And if I can help other women who are struggling…have struggled for years, then it will be more than worth it.

Don’t be afraid to start over, Babe. Life is too short to not do something you are completely in love with. Ask yourself the honest questions, find your truth, and be brave enough to chase your dreams.